Conceding The Truth
by Mendori-chan
Summary: ShinoHina. He ponders about her as she sleeps beside him on a long bus ride home. Too near to be noticed, yet too close to be avoided. His love for her, hidden in secrecy, will be uttered in her sleep.


**A/n: **I'm selfish, I know. But when it comes to Shino, I can't help myself but fill him up with so much overpowering angst and melancholy. Gomene, Shino-kun, but you do know that I love you with all my heart. Please bear my depression for the meantime.

Disclaimers on the song used. **Broken Sonnet** is performed by Hale and composed by Roll Martinez, featured in the following albums: Broken Sonnet, and Full Volume: The Best of Pinoy Alternative 2005. Please do not sue me. :D

ooooo

Conceding the Truth

ShinoHina. He ponders about her as she sleeps beside him on a long bus ride home. Too near to be noticed, yet too close to be avoided. His love for her, hidden in secrecy, will be uttered in her sleep.

ooooo

It was beyond human comprehension. It was absurd; so utterly stupid and senseless… but then again, there are times when we have to let go of the things we've yearned for, even if they're right in front of us. And I am glad to know that I was brave enough to set her free. She deserves someone far better than the man who can never live up to her expectations, a man who cannot provide her with just a rudiment of happiness; Me. And as I recall a scence from that afternoon, under the soft rays of the vibrant sun, I can only take a deep breath and be happy for her.

**_Flashback_**

She diminished the distance between her head and his shoulder once the God of Sleep took over her senses. She was no match against him after tiring herself endlessly that afternoon, and she finally succumbed to her exhaustion when her heavy eyelids fell against her milky eyes.

But once he felt her head on his shoulder, he could only shrug. _Too close…_

It was a peculiar day for all of Team 8 that afternoon. Their training rendezvous was settled far from the outskirts of the Hidden Village of Leaf that they had to take a bus to get there. Of course, Kiba asked to reconsider; he and Akamaru hated being in one place for too long, let alone a long bus ride from Point A to Point B. Kurenai-sensei ignored his request and continued with her plan. She explained to them that having different settings and unique battlefields would help in their up-coming missions.

So, once they got there, they started training immediately. A long day had ended when all of them were left too tired to walk. Apparently, Hinata had an injury with her wrist after stumbling against a gigantic tree root, allowing her wrist to twist. It couldn't support the weight of her body that it finally resulted to a sprain.

Aburame Shino was asked by Kurenai-sensei to take Hinata home earlier since Kiba wanted to train some more. Of course, no one told him about the accident since he would freak out anyway. She also reassured him that they would take the next bus, which brings us to our current setting right now…

He exhaled sharply, making his companion stir.

"Shino-kun…"

The bug-boy averted his gaze out the bus window, consuming his attention with the boring terrain outside. Really, he just felt a bit awkward after waking her like that. She needed a lot of rest.

His eyes were now staring at her bandaged wrist, curious since she didn't continue to speak.

_Perhaps she fell asleep again._

Her breath was tickling his ear, and her warmth and closeness eased his senses. They were the only ones who rode in that particular bus, making it less embarrassing for Shino in case someone might think they were dating. They were seated at the back of the vehicle, and the great space around them made him think of why she chose to sleep by his side when everywhere else was available.

He twitched his shoulder slightly since it was starting to become numb.

_BIG_ mistake.

Hinata's sleeping figure slid against his side, making her head plop down on his lap. And hell, he blushed hotly. It was a good thing that she didn't wake up, otherwise, the situation would have become even more uncomfortable. Shakily, he took her injured wrist and placed it aside so as not to injure it any further.

But the distance between them made him hesitate into letting her go.

She looked awfully vulnerable in that position, with her mouth slightly ajar and her soft, ivory skin being radiated by the small flickers of the bus lights. He caressed her head gently and held it with firmness just in case it might fall off his lap. And within these moments of serenity, it occurred to him: was there something within the depths of his exoskeleton-presumed heart that Hinata had a special place for?

He coughed and kicked himself mentally. There was no such thing as 'feelings beyond his comprehension' that existed, especially for his teammate, Hyuuga Hinata. He was her friend, and nothing more.

Shino could even remember the events of yesterday vividly. The young Byakugan heiress was shyly approaching him while he stood a deliciously near distace beside her heart's object of admiration: the Kyuubi loudmouth. She wanted to ask him a favor if he could question Naruto-kun about his afternoon schedule a.k.a. what would he be doing on his birthday, which was on that very day.

_"Hinata-san… you can ask him yourself." He tried to sound reasonable, but all of his conclusions were rendered useless when she blushed profusely. Her eyes were busy staring at her shaking fingers as she played with them awkwardly whilst she replied, "Sh-Shino-kun… I-I cannot…"_

_He sighed inwardly. What made this Kyuubi so difficult to talk to was a mystery. Sure, he was dense. Yes, he can be quite annoying once you start a debate. But with all those aside, what was it about him that made her feel like fainting whenever his azure eyes met hers? _

_"Naruto will enjoy your company," he said instead. Without even giving in to look back at her, he continued, "so don't worry anymore."_

_Her face burnt hotly. "Shino-kun…" And once her eyes began to soften with realization, she uttered, "Arigatou…"_

He was being a good friend that way, wasn't he? Wasn't helping her regain her self-confidence a good thing on his part, if not, for both of them? For if she chose to wither away and fade into the background, she would never have had the chance to walk up to Naruto and tap on his shoulder to say, "_Naruto-kun… w-will--"_

_"Hinata-chan!" He turned to her comically, and then displayed his boisterous grin. "I'll see you later at the Ichiraku. Iruka-sensei and Hokagejii-san will be treating us!"_

He could have invited himself then. But he figured, after seeing her milky eyes well up with happiness, he _had_ to think otherwise. Hinata-san needs this time to be with him, he thought quietly to himself. _But…_

He returned his gaze to the sleeping Hinata once again, her head resting comfortably on his lap. The strands of her raven tresses spread all over his capri pants, barely leaving traces of his own warmth. She was drifting off to Dreamland, for all he knew, and he didn't have the heart to even touch her. If ever he did, he might disrupt her peaceful slumber. And at that moment, he thought to himself, _She was beautiful._

_And now I concede on the night of this fifteenth song  
Of melancholy, of melancholy  
And now I will admit in this fourth line  
That I love you, that I love you_

With a stroke of his hand, just above her radiant ivory skin, he felt her breathing. It was not as to touch her; he didn't need to do so. She was precious and he avoided making contact for he regarded her as a sacred being. A Goddess, so to speak. But within that moment of tranquility, when he watched her amid the flickering lights of the vehicle they were in, his chest began to tighten.

He never really took the time to actually sit and _think_ about his feelings. In his clan, he didn't need to contemplate about such things when his father made it clear that prioritizing his training was much more important than a spouse. Arranged marriages were all it took to reassure his superiors that their clan would be in good hands. Yet… if he thought about this again, then what will the clan patriarchs, as well as his own father, think when they found out about Hinata and his feelings?

But it wasn't like he was in denial. Yes, he had feelings for her. However, there was just an obstacle far greater than Kiba _and_ Naruto.

The provision of her happiness.

_The clock on the TV says 8:39 PM  
It's the same, it's the same  
And in this next line, I'll say it all over again  
That I love you, that I love you_

He never really had the talent to make people smile. Heck, he found ants eating the carcass of a bird humorous. But if he were to take that into consideration, then he would rather watch her from afar than just imagine her as his wife. She needed someone who could make her smile. Someone who would cherish her and tease her, and be loving around her. Someone who would protect her with his all without hesitation. Someone who is selfless, loyal, understanding… And sadly, he was capable of doing them all _but_ the humor part.

Then again, perhaps, he was just being foolish by feeling this way.

His eyes acted on their own when they landed onto her face again. Her breathing pattern was in sync to his, and he could feel her heartbeat with the silence despite the fading sounds of the engine running. His Kikai were already restless inside of him, and automatically, they regisered to him information about Hinata's state.

There were traces of labor in her breathing though they were faint. She wasn't sweating, but her eyes were moving rapidly beneath their lids, perhaps stuck in a bad dream. He pushed the bridge of his shades higher, and then coughed to cut his thoughts short. Was he being concerned, or was his sudden interest on her starting to rush the flow of his hormones? Either way, the latter thought caused a wave of hot blood to flood his cheeks.

Stupid it was, but he couldn't help himself. He was just growing up.

But by the time he breathed out all of his foolishness, the bus suddenly halted in an instant. The force of the whole vehicle being completely motionless within that split-second caused the sleeping Hinata to sit up and gasp in shock. That is… she didn't have time to react when her abrupt awakening made her unable to see that Shino was peering down on her. And yes, her lips met his for a fleeting moment.

Within that moment, he memorized her every scent, her every taste and the every hint of warmth that emanated from her. Both pulled away just as quickly, and then withdrew with their faces burning vehemently, gazes fixed elsewhere.

The driver apologized and asked them to get down the bus since it was his last stop. They nodded absentmindedly in a unanimous movement as Hinata gathered her shoulderbag to be off. Shino waited for her to reach the bus doors with the silence slowly devouring their comfort. Everything happened in an abrupt instant, and none of them could still fully process the things that had just transpired.

The Hyuuga heiress struggled to get down the stairs, but her knees shook in an uncomfortable fashion, perhaps because of her disrupted sleep and unconscious thoughts of what happened.

Shino noticed this. "Hinata-san…" he spoke, his voice still and nonchalant.

She turned to him, her blush unceasing. "H-Hai?"

With every bit of courage he could possibly muster within his lifetime, he stretched out his hand and took hold of hers. "Let me help you."

**_End of Flashback_**

And now I will succumb to the reality of it all. As I held her hand to guide her out the bus, I felt a small tug in my heart. When finally she landed safely on the ground, I knew then that at the moment that I let her hand go, I found out that I set her free from my feelings as well. She gave me a grateful bow and went on her way with the blush unerased.

_"Hinata-san…" my voice rose on its own._

_She turned to me from a distance and gazed, prompting me to speak. "H-Hai…Shino-kun?"_

_I lost my words. "G-Gomenasai." It was not only my first kiss, but hers as well._

_I saw her blush hotly. "I-Iie… it's okay."_

_The bow I gave her was with utmost apology, and then I began to walk away from her, my house existing opposite to hers. "Oyasumi nasai."_

_But when I just started to hasten my pace, I heard her call out, her voice mixed with uncertainty and longing, "Sh-Shino-kun…!"_

I didn't dare turn back. Because if I did, then I would never have forgiven myself for all eternity.

There are times when we have to let go of the things we've yearned for the most, even if they're right in front of us. It was her happiness that meant the world to me, and I was able to gain that mirth by seeing her caress a small, precious child sleeping soundly in her woumb on the day of her baby shower. Uzumaki Naruto planted a kiss on her lips as I watched them quietly amidst the crowd of guests.

Under the soft rays of the vibrant sun, I can only take a deep breath and be happy for her. As a small smile played on my lips, I just watched quietly without complaints. She was happy, and that was everything to me.

_Still I see the tears from your eyes_

_Maybe I'm just not the one for you…_

**end**


End file.
